Sunday, August 3, 2003 was the day that changed Melissa and me forever. It’s not every day that you get a phone call from your wife saying that your son has E coli and that he’s being airlifted to the I.W.K. That’s not supposed to happen. He’s not supposed to be in Halifax fighting for his life. He’s not supposed to have four surgeries in a matter of weeks. His kidneys were never supposed to shut down. He should have never been in such a struggle to begin with, and neither should we.

Back home, the church had banded together to help their pastoral family as much as they could. One woman went around and collected well over a thousand dollars for our needs. Our vice-chairman/lay pastor assumed the role of leadership, and the congregation rallied around him. They, too, felt the pains and the joys that we experienced as we relayed messages about little Caleb’s condition. For the people of the Lower Hainesville Church, and many other friends in surrounding churches, this was “their boy!”

As many now know, the story has a good ending. Caleb is well on the road to recovery. He is more work now then he was before he contracted the dreadful disease. We need to make sure he drinks so much fluid each day. His diet is a concern. He takes more medication at two years of age then I think I have ever taken in my life. Praise the Lord, though, we still have our little boy.

Now that he’s relatively healthy, the new challenge for the husband/father/pastor is to keep all of his plates spinning. Finding a healthy balance between home life and church life has not been extremely difficult, but it has had some wrinkles here and there. The challenge lies in how those wrinkles are dealt with.

Throughout our stay in Halifax, one hymn continued to ring through my wife’s head. She then drove it into my head as well. It wasn’t the full version of Jesus Paid It All that gave us comfort, just the line “… child of weakness, watch and pray…” Even now, when wrinkles arise in my family life or ministry, that line still resonates.

So how did I find the balance here in Hainesville? For me, there are three factors that have come into play.

1. Know Who Your Family Is

Before I set myself back into the swing of every day life, I had to know what was expected from me at home. Melissa may be an awesome woman, mother and wife, but she is not Superwoman. So I needed to know what she expected from me.

I’ve realized that it’s more than saying, “I Love You” that kept us going through every day. It was more than just holding her hand as we waited for test results to come in. She needed to know that I was there for her.

The same goes with Caleb and Meagan. The first part of each day is making sure that Caleb is fed, received his medications, and is in good contention for making his fluid goals for each day.

It came as a HUGE surprise to me, but I now know that my family needs me. When Caleb came home, after all the celebrating was over, the church realized the important fact that my family came first.
 

2. Know Who Your Church Is

The other thing I found out was that I had to find out what my church needed from me. For two and a half months, other people were doing all the jobs that I thought only I could do. My Sunday school class was now in the hands of somebody else. The preaching and music aspects were taken care of. These people didn’t need me anymore… Well, not really.

With the knowledge that I had received, the church work was going a whole lot smoother because the church leaders had shown me they could lead BUT they still needed their pastor.

While they understood the increased, for lack of a better word, load on our family, I also had to realize that I couldn’t bunker in the parsonage each day, and pop my head out on Sunday. These people needed me. I had to recognize their needs.

A few weeks back, we had a church meeting discussing the needs of the people, and the pastor’s role in each of those areas. We all left that meeting feeling good about the direction of the church, and that all the concerns were dealt with.

The balance comes when realizing that my family, while it is important, understands that the church needs me. The church people also came to that same realization. I’m still amazed at how well it has worked out.
 

3. Know Who God Is

Throughout the last few months, my family and my church family have come to see just how the mighty hand of Almighty God was, and has been with us each and every step of the way. He was the one who kept Caleb in His hands. He was the one who kept a church together. He IS the one who brings the balance that we so very much need.

The Sunday before Caleb was flown to Halifax, our Sunday school class was looking at different scenarios in the Bible where personal challenges lead to a great revelation of who God was. I can remember standing in front of the class and saying, “Perhaps we need a great challenge to stir us up!” One week later Caleb was diagnosed with E coli, and the faith of all people involved, either directly or indirectly, was challenged.

The thing that kept the church united during that crisis, and during the triumphs and tragedies of the past few months, has been that we have all gained a stronger understanding in the awesome power and authority of which our Lord truly is. There is none greater to rely on that the everlasting arms of Jesus Christ.

It was He who kept my wife and I so close together during the bleakest of hours, and through the glory of many great reports. It was He who drew the people of the church together. It is still He; the One on that sits on the throne that provides us the balance that we need.

To say this is the defining statement on how to balance church and family life would be a complete overstatement. What I am saying is that no matter what the circumstances may be, it is He who gives us the strength to endure. Even when our lives are out of balance there is always security in His arms. That has been the greatest lesson that we Hainesville-ites have realized!