When I started ministry as a senior pastor I was excited about the challenge and the opportunity to lead people to life change. I had my eyes on the success of leading a church instead of successfully following my Savior. Not long in my new position I started to feel the discouragement of failure and inadequacy. People have problems, some don’t know they do, some don’t want to know. That is discouraging when you want to help people experience the healing and hope that Christ wants to bring. I had my eyes on fixing everyone so we could get on with the work that Christ called us to i.e.: reaching the lost. I want to see non-believers become fully devoted followers of Christ. I want to see the bride of Christ radiant in holiness and purity attractive to those, whose lives are hopeless and empty, a bright light in a dark world. When my job and my performance didn’t meet my expectation I got discouraged and maybe even depressed at times. Why would God call me to something that I was not capable of doing? I would wrestle with God, questioning what He was thinking when He called me to this ministry. I couldn’t do it, I didn’t have all the skills and abilities required to be a pastor (like anyone really does). I struggled all the way to be what I needed to be as the leader of this church. In January I would get depressed as I looked back on another year that was gone feeling that I wasn’t doing a good enough job, that I wasn’t fixing everyone’s problems. In June I would face another low point after the church year had ended and a new one began. I would look back and feel that our gains over the past year were not enough; not enough people attending church, not enough people saved, not enough lives changed. Once again I would feel the pains of failure and the discouragement of not being able to measure up.

But God began to work on this matter in my life this past year. In studying a book entitled “Joy That Lasts” by Gary Smalley, I began to realize that I was looking to my career as my source. If I could meet my expectation and things could go the way I plan for them to go, I would be happy. Surprise, surprise I wasn’t happy! I had many incredible blessings in my life, but I wasn’t happy, as a matter of fact I was very unhappy, and I began to realize why. I was looking to my career, and people, and the things around me to bring joy into my life. These things were failing to meet my expectation and I was constantly being let down. When you are down enough you don’t come back up as high as you once were! I was becoming disillusioned with these important things in my life because I was expecting them to play a role they were never meant to play.

I wasn’t called to be a pastor because I had all the abilities and knowledge to be successful. I was called because God wanted to use me for His glory to do what I could not do without Him. As Romans 4:17 says, He is “the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.” I cannot be successful by trying hard even though I have a great responsibility to give my all. I can only accomplish what God has prepared for me by making Him my source of life. This is not only theoretical, it is practical. In my everyday life as a follower of Christ, as a pastor and leader, as a husband and father, I have to be looking to my savior to bring to my life what I don’t have and enable me to do what I cannot.

1 Corinthians 1
²⁶Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. ²⁷But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. ²⁸He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are, ²⁹so that no one may boast before him. ³⁰It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. ³¹Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

He really wants to empower us to do what only He can make possible, but often we are running so far ahead or dragging so far behind that we can’t receive what He has for us.

Make Him your source, and look to Him only to meet all you needs. Confess the things and people you’ve looked to for meeting your needs, and commit to placing your expectations on Him. He will not let you down.