I was placing my Ebenezer stone. God had spoken and I was making a vow. I left the Women Reaching Women Seminar determined that I, from that moment on, would be God’s perfect woman! I was filled with fiery determination. I felt like Wonder Woman and the Bionic Woman rolled into one!

Then, Sunday morning arrived.

My children got up. They couldn’t look at each other without fighting.

“She coughed too loud!”

“He looked at me and I didn’t want him to!”

Shoes went missing. The toothpaste managed to squeeze itself out off the tube and all over the bathroom floor. The toast burned setting off the smoke detector and two screaming children. Another fight broke out. My son’s cheeks were scratched by his sister and therefore he felt slapping her was justified. Once again I refereed, sending the two opponents to their corners.

The veins in my neck where throbbing! My pressure gauge was near the point of exploding! I told my children not to utter one more word as we put on our coats to leave for church.

“Not one peep.” I warned, glancing down at my watch that told me we were running late yet again!

There was only a second of silence and then I heard it.

“Peep.”

The gauge exploded!!! I yelled and screamed all the way to the car. I pulled out off my driveway, tires screeching. I was driving under the influence of mother overload!!! My newly found super powers hadn’t last 24 hours!

Then I felt it. Tap. Tap. Tap.

I knew who it was. The Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention. I tried to avoid him but the tapping only persisted!!!

I sighed and look through the rearview mirror at my children who had been shell shocked into silence by their screaming Mother. The tears started to well up in my eyes. I was anything BUT God’s perfect women!

“Guys, this is not the way we should be acting any time but it is really wrong for us to be going into God’s house like this. It was wrong for Mumma to loose her temper and yell at you like that. Will you forgive me?”

“Yes, Mumma.” They said in unison.

“Now, it isn’t okay for you two to be arguing and fighting. God wants us to love each other. You need to apologize to each other as well.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

We prayed, with eyes open; I was still driving. We asked God to forgive us. Amen was said and my children started playing in the back seat like nothing had ever happened. I, on the other hand, still could not stop the tears.

Another voice was whispering in my ear.

“How could God use you to change lives when yours is such a mess? How can you be God’s perfect woman? You yelled at your kid’s! God called you to minister to women? God could never use you. You couldn’t even be His perfect woman for 24 hours!”

Tap. Tap. Tap. There it was again! The Holy Spirit had something to say.

“Excuse me, Steph, but I don’t recall me asking you to be a “perfect” woman nor did the speaker at the seminar. I asked you to be my woman; someone else whispered the word perfect into your ear. I just want you to be mine and then my power will make you perfect. I don’t need perfect women. I just need real, transparent women with a heart that belongs to me.”

I knew He was right. Satan had whispered the word “perfect” and I had listened. Satan loves to deceive. It’s his trump card. It wasn’t the first time I had been deceived into believing I had to be perfect. I always strive to be the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect housekeeper, the perfect cook, the perfect Mom. Once again, God needed to gently remind me that it is not the perfect God calls but the imperfect! Why?

So that when I am able to do amazing things it is obvious that it was God and God alone working through me! My life story is not about me. It is all about Him!

I pulled into the church parking lot, bowed my head over the steering wheel and renewed my vow from the day before.

This time, however, I left out the word “perfect”.