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Stepping Up to Be the "Big Cheese" |
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I wonder how many times I told myself, and others, that the Solo Pastorate was probably not in my future. Well, here I am! Here I am sitting in this chair, in this office, in this church, as the one and only pastor. I had tried my hand at being an assistant for a few years and thought I had found my niche. I enjoyed so many things about it; the supporting role, the great learning environment under a senior pastor, the fact that the buck never stopped with me, and never being responsible for providing the Big Answers to the Big Questions. I was comfortable and content. I really enjoyed not being the "Big Cheese", and found the more behind the scenes roles quite fulfilling. There was a real peace in knowing that if I ran into something really tough I could always run it by my senior. (if not drop it on him completely) Never once did I envy his role with boards, buildings and budgets. Now, here I sit. But how did I get here? Well, first of all the Lord began to change me. He began to allow my passions to grow and to change. He opened my eyes up to a different ministry with different roles and responsibilities. He began to make me less comfortable and more discontent with what I was doing. And I began to realize the solo pastorate was that light I saw at the end of the tunnel. Well that's how I got here, and now to answer the question, "What is it like?" To put it mildly, it's fantastic. (that probably has a lot to do with the great people I am pastoring) Does that mean it is a piece of cake, without problems, and totally enjoyable 24-7? No. But it does mean that the Lord has first equipped me and then placed me again in the center of His will. I am reminded everyday though what a great responsibility it is. And unlike when I was an assistant, the buck does stop here. There is no longer anyone else to take the ultimate responsibility. Things are sure different. There is a greater freedom in being a solo pastor, but along with that come a few other things, such as a greater feeling of unworthiness, inadequacy and vulnerability. There also comes a greater feeling of responsibility, knowing that I am now the one who is looked to for stability, vision, and direction. The future of this church, whether it will thrive, or just survive, (thanks Dr. Wilson) is largely dependent on how I allow God to use me. Me, yeah me. The guy that God put in this chair. May God help us all truly understand and appreciate this great calling.
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